Takedown (3rd place) @ metonym 2019

Third Place:

Bangalore Metro 

You would think travelling by an air conditioned , relatively clean train would be a good way to commute. Sadly, there’s more bad to the good for Namma Metro.You’re greeted by the weird smell of torn ten rupee notes and sweat. The hospital tube-lights are daunting and of course one cannot forget to mention the aunty shoving the detector up against your chest. I dread travelling by the metro alone because I always make a mistake with the platforms. .From MG Road to Trinity Circle itself is quite the uphill battle because for a girl with an attention span of a fly , the Chai point’s , Dominos, and mobile phone accessories kiosks  cause more trouble!  try to ask the security guards in their dark navy uniforms for the right platform number and both of us are left lost in translation. It’s like walking into the wrong movie theater where the indie french film is being screened. After completing the 200m race to the ladies compartment, judgy googly eyes greet your outfit ad makeup. Atleast the journey is scenic. Ish.

For someone who is familiar with our dashing purple and and green electric monster, travelling via majestic is quite the scare. Nobody tells you to switch lines. No one. It’s like when you are the last person to find out about good news, and you’re very well aware that you are the last one. I didn’t even bother to decode the maps that tell you about the different lines and stops and all the different colour dots.  The government better pay those labourers – double because the closest metro station to my humble abode is 6 kilometres away, lovely.

– Shania Mathew , 1st CPE

Gobi Manchurian

So there are few things in the universe that don’t really have a purpose, no matter how optimistic you are. I’ll give you examples- that one tiny pocket on top of the pocket that serves a purpose on your jeans, the most blunt knife tactfully inserted in your nail clipper, the Mexico-US wall project, and our very own Gobi Manchurian. I get it, being vegan is good, so is being vegetarian. I respect the fact that these people aren’t killing animals, birds and fish. That’s great news for the ecological cycle. Or maybe not. But turning non-vegetarian food items into their vegetarian counterparts is like remaking KGF into Kabir Singh. That hurt, didn’t it?

Imagine an Indian remake of marvel movies. Non-vegetarians don’t go about inventing 101 ways to ruin a perfectly perfect veg cuisine.I mean have you ever heard of someone make Chicken falafel or Fish sambhar? No, right?

So why do vegetarians need to come up with totally un-innovative ideas like veg momos, paneer momos and gobi manchurian. Doesn’t veg food stimulate the imaginative cells of your brains to come up with something new? The whole idea of turning chicken manchurian into Gobi Manchurian is as innovative as calling a cake a cake shop, ‘The Cake Shop’.

Don’t get me wrong here. I have nopersonal issueswith Gobi. I love it in places where they are meant to be like gobi paranthas, nice hot gobi curry, you know, normal stuff. But Gobi and Manchurian together, that disturbs me.

Manchurian should probably go like “Gobi, it’s not you, It’s I” ( Me is wrong English, SJC taught me!) and that would be the best use of the legendary breakup statement. So, just like a few things are not meant to be( Yes, I know you’re thinking about your crush right now), Gobi Manchurian is also not meant to be.

– Shreya Ghosh, 1st JIP


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